Box Office Pulp Podcast | Movie Reviews | Film Analysis: bad

Showing posts with label bad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad. Show all posts

Saturday, May 15, 2021

MORTAL KOMBAT ANNIHILATION Kommentary Track

Never give up hope! Unless that hope is this movie having aged into itself. Continuing on with MORTAL MONTH on the podcast, we're delving into the Tragedy known as MORTAL KOMBAT ANNIHILATION. Popularly recognized as that one time you wish Paul W.S. Anderson stuck around for the video game movie sequel. With this feature commentary track, we come to terms with the why's, the huh's, the Brian Thompson's, and most importantly, James Remar's wig, all to detail the troubled production that resulted in one of the greatest Bad Movies ever. Maybe, just maybe, by the end of this commentary, you would have learned to believe in your arms.



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Monday, October 14, 2019

THE PUMPKIN KARVER Commentary Track (A Big-Ass Pumpkin Day Extravaganza)

Get out your knife and a really big spoon, because it's the only day of the year the BOP Crew looks forward to more than Halloween: The Great Gourdening, Dia de los Calabaza itself, Big-Ass Pumpkin Day! And to properly prepare for the festivities, we suggest you put on a slasher so obscure it makes you think "Wow, Amy Weber and Minka Kelly are really slumming it," THE PUMPKIN KARVER! Mix together this year's BAPD Cocktail, and listen to Cody, Mike, and Jamie get lost in the dangerous world of expert pumpkin carving.  Then grab your own pump', cut a full circle around the top, leaving plenty of room for scooping. Once the ole' orange-boy is hollow, draw your desired Jack-O onto the gourd with a a black marker, and carefully remove the desired pieces in a gentle, see-saw motion. Just don't carve with any evil in your heart! But also don't be afraid to go crazy, Jack's a versatile dude!  Around this time, the Crew should be lost in a terrifying alternate reality where the pumpkins have come to take back what's their's. Set your new friend on the couch next to you, down a good swig of that BOPtail that's been gathering dust. After this, absolutely nothing will matter and you'll be in the perfect mindset for Karver's respectable FX budget and dedication to patch-based horror. Take another sip.  Ahh. It truly was a Big-Ass, Big-Ass Pumpkin Day.

Everybody now! Sing along and download here!



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Friday, May 31, 2019

Tales From The BOP: HELLBOY (2019)

There are movies that suck in the summer, dear listener, make no mistake... and we are the ones who suck back. That statement did not come out right at all, but unlike this episode's subject, we stick to our guns all the way down. That's right, BOP's very own Senior Hellboy Aficionado Cody went to see Neil Marshall's studio-hijacked 2019 reboot/prequel/spin-off/Cinematic-Universe-Creation-Kit, and after several weeks of reflection felt up to the task of running us down each and every footnote-burdened sequence. Listen as Cody The Homunculus guides us through a twisting labyrinth of flashbacks, character introductions, location changes, needle-drops, and lobsters Johnson, all to please a fan-base that would've preferred it if they'd just stuck with the other guy. Is this Hellboy just a bunch of cosplaying actors reading Wikipedia articles aloud to the camera over their director's muffled sobs, or is there value to be found in this maligned production? The first one. Definitely the first one. It's a bad movie, don't watch it. But do grab yourself a brew and a king-sized Baby Ruth, and listen to us spin another bone-chilling Tale From The BOP!

Speak your true name aloud, and click here to download!



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Monday, November 26, 2018

Tales From The BOP: THE SNOWMAN

Mister Police. You could have saved yourself from watching this movie. I gave you all the reviews. But still you did. Still you watched due to the promise of Michael Fassbender battling a Snowman themed serial killer. Now look at you, a shadow of your former self. But luckily, for the rest of you, one member of the BOP Crew has turned his soul crushing viewing experience into this spine-tingler of a TALES FROM THE BOP! All in hope you don't meet his same twig-armed fate! This time, Mike weaves for Cody and Jamie, a story of Charlotte Gainsbourg dry humping our lead actor, a Dubbed Val Kilmer growling in a tub, scenes that play our perilously without any sense of rhythm or connection to plot, and a director who has disowned his own film! Allow me to introduce you all to the botched adaptation of the worldwide best-selling novel... THE SNOWMAN!

The first snow has fallen. Melt any sinister snowmen that may have appeared by downloading the episode here!



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iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/box-office-pulp/id577338641
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Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Tales From The BOP: THE MUMMY (2017)

Leave your bright and sunny universe behind and take a step into a Da-- oh, sorry, as I was typing that, that entire initiative was cancelled. ANYWAYS, you may no longer be able to wander the secretive halls of Prodigium again anytime soon, but you can wander the halls of Cody's Memory Palace! Come inside, kiddies, for a new installment of Taaaaales Froooom The BOOOOOOOP! In which films not on the "must see!" spectrum are retold to you by one of our illustrious Crew members, who took the plunge into movie muck so you don't have to! This time, Cody recounts, like an exposition spewing Doc Jekyll, that time a major studio buried themselves alive like so many Imhotep's by placing their Cinematic Universe hopes in the hands of a crazy, running in place Scientologist. Prepare for a world of God's, Monsters, perplexing plot turns, Tom Cruise being an asshole, and a Pyramid's worth of over-done flashbacks. It's the first and only Dark Universe entry -- THE MUMMY!

Mummies alive! Avoid getting cursed by downloading the episode now!



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Wednesday, October 14, 2015

JACK-O Commentary Track (A Big-Ass Pumpkin Day Celebration)

The smell of pumpkin-spice everything is in the air, the leaves are changing color, and Big-Ass Pumpkin Day celebrations are blooming nationwide! (Well, maybe not that last one, but we’re working on it.) To kick off BAPD 2015, the Box Office Pulp crew provided a live commentary on the torturous 1995 monster movie JACK-O. Boasting an IMDb score of 2.7, you know it has to be good! (No. No it’s not.) But to save our sanities, we used the time to develop a much better movie. Can you say “post-apocalyptic world populated by Jason Voorhees' and clans of final girls”?

Join the seasonal festivities by downloading the commentary right here!

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Tales From The BOP: HELLRAISER REVELATIONS

From the shadowy void does rusty chains shoot, digging their way into supple flesh. As the box is caressed and opened, all is revealed in this TALES FROM THE BOP! For this installment, two members of the crew have returned from their gaze into hell and used the blood of the living to bring themselves back for one reason: To record this episode! Skinless or not, Mike and James sit down with the rest of the crew and recount, step-by-step, their horrifying encounter with the Doug Bradley-less, porno budgeted, direct to video rigmarole, HELLRAISER: REVELATIONS.

Open the box on this Tale From The BOP by downloading here!